This Season of My Life
What I Can (and Can’t) Hold Right Now
This was probably the first New Year in a few years where I actually felt a bit hopeful. It feels wild to even make such a statement due to all that’s happening on a global scale.
This season, I intended to slow down. Instead, I’ve realized that I’ve shifted my focus. I fluctuate between having a spring in my step and crawling in and out of bed. That time in between, I’m firing on all cylinders. As we approach the end of the first month of the new year, I’m worried about slipping quickly into old patterns.
I’m very involved in the animation community. I volunteer often. I lead and host events. I am relatively a hyper-visible person. A little more than halfway through last year, I realized that I was rapidly approaching burnout.
During quarantine, I decided I wanted to make an animated short film. Ever since then, it has never been a priority. I started and stopped to support many other endeavors. Same with the course I’ve been building for these last three years. This new year, I’m taking my time to identify personal boundaries, such as no more than 2 coffee chats in one week.
When I read Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes,” she emphasized that saying yes to things ultimately is saying no to yourself.
“Losing yourself does not happen all at once. Losing yourself happens one no at a time.”
― Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person
I feel that this season is asking me to find comfort in the uncomfortable. To know that it is ok to say no to people, places, and opportunities. As much as I contribute to the spaces I’m in, it’s time to contribute to the dreams that I have. Those dreams that had to take a backseat.
“Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral. Pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change.”
― Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person
Even though things may be quieter as far as my social life is concerned, I know I won’t regret making time for myself in this way.
I want to see what a year of saying yes to my projects unapologetically will look like. What it will feel like in the end.
If you’re like me and sometimes feel guilty about declining opportunities to volunteer, mentor, or attend events, I want you to know that you’re entitled to give that same commitment to yourself and your passions this year.